Additional Mother's Day thoughts...for Grandma

Yesterday I posted some comments about my mom and the wonderful memories that I had of her. She was truly special and will always live on within my heart and soul as the one who helped to shape me and make something positive out of me. But I would not be who I am and my mother would not be who she was without HER mom...My grandmother.

My Grandma (given name Zeline) was a truly amazing and self sufficient woman. Teased by her brother (my great uncle, who was a great man in his own right) for doing the vacuuming in her pearls alah June Cleaver, my Grandmother was a perfectionist and an amazing woman. I always loved visiting my Grandmother because of her incredible food. She was a great cook. Plus she always had whole milk, where at home all we got was powdered non-fat milk for budget reasons! (Yuk!).

My Grandmother also worked at the famed Hotel del Coronado for 17 years after moving to San Diego from Illinois. She was the head Cashier at the Hotel del during it's landmark conversion from paper reservation systems to one of those new fangled computer systems in the early 80's. The comment from the hotel manager was that my Grandmother's impeccable records were more accurate than any computer ever could be, but they had to "modernize" and "get with the times". Upon retiring from the Hotel she was given a nice plaque with an etching of the famed Hotel and the signatures of her coworkers laser-engraved into the metal. She was loved by the employees as "everyone's Grandma".

But throughout my growing up days I was intimidated by Grandma. She was so perfect- her apartment a few minutes away from the Hotel del Coronado was always clean...spotless...impeccable. She was loving, but she was stern and believed in discipline.

It wasn't until my mother's illness that my Grandmother and I became close. Following my mother's illness my Grandmother would take a series of buses (transferring multiple times along the way) to get from the outskirts of Chula Vista to the nursing home behind Sharp Hospital at least 3 days a week. The trip would take her 1 1/2 to 2 hours each way. She later was able to utilize the trolley and that helped in reducing some of the travel time. But for years and years she kept a constant vigil at my mom's side at least 3 days a week (sometimes 4 and 5 days a week). Through it all, my mom showed no improvement...no change. No sign that things would get any better to give my Grandmother any added incentive to return. She did it to stay by her side, to wipe her brow, to comb her hair, to open my mom's music box or play a music tape to allow my mom to hear some music (and we were not even sure she could hear or understand the music). This dedication and devotion was amazing and taught me what true commitment is. I used to visit my mom too as much as possible. But it was after my mom had been bed-ridden for a few years that I decided to move away from San Diego and take a job elsewhere. It was my Grandmother who kept the vigil and honored my mom and would give me updates on her status via mail and phone call.

My Grandmother later came to live with my family after the passing of my uncle Bill and it was an honor to have her. Unfortunately the ravages of Parkinson's and Alzheimer's were starting to take their toll. But in the end, my Grandmother would show me, even in her final days, so many lessons about life.

So THANK YOU Grandma for all the nice Roasts, and all the slices of pie on sunny afternoons, for the cards and gifts over the years, for treating me with respect and expecting me to act like a man, and most importantly for being committed to your family- to your daughter who you stood by and to your son while he dealt with cancer of his own. You were special and I love you and miss you...