The Funeral on Saturday August 1st was very nice.

We had about 30 people attend and the event turned out as good as I could have hoped. I don’t know how you can say that a funeral is “good” (if that makes sense) but the event went very well. I was afraid that I might mess up doing the eulogy. I felt like I stumbled through, but got assurances afterward that things went OK. My brother and I were very happy with the turn out, and everyone was so kind. We had family and friends show up and give a tremendous amount of support. I arrived close to an hour early and we already had people there!
My brother, my family and I would like to thank all those who came out and showed their support and offered their condolences. It is so great to feel everyone’s support!

Something else that happened on Saturday the 1st- after the service my wife, my brother and I were going to get some lunch. Brenda chose the perfect place to eat…The Little Fish Market in Mission Valley. Why was that perfect? The last time my family gathered together to be wit my dad we went to the Little Fish Market and got some take out and went down to Mission Bay and had a little lunch overlooking the water. Well, when we showed up at the Little Fish Market, it was closed! They were taking the signs down from the walls! At first we were bummed…but then we thought how fitting it was that my dad’s favorite place to eat was closing down. (And not sure why it closed…there was always a lot of people there when we went in!).

Finally, for dinner that night we couldn’t decide where to go. My son made the suggestion to go to El Indio Taco shop downtown. That was a perfect place for us, and it has become my son’s favorite eatery in San Diego. I remember it from many years ago when I worked at the Union 76 station that used to be down the street…

All in all, this was a very good weekend as we gathered together to remember my dad, spend time with wonderful friends and family, and take in the beauty of San Diego.

Memorial Weekend- The scattering of ashes

On July 31st, 2009 we held a ceremony to scatter my dad’s ashes at sea. Well, maybe “ceremony” is too formal a word…what we did was celebrate my dad’s love of the ocean by taking his ashes off shore to a place we felt was significant for him and scattered his ashes while telling stories of my dad’s fishing trips and anecdotes of times spent on or near the ocean. One of the truly tremendous things for me was so sit on this boat and spend the time with my only son, who enjoyed the time on the water and found out how wonderful time at sea can be and came to understand why “Grandpa” would love it so much.
The ceremony was simple- just a prayer and a thank you for a dad who worked hard and spent time with us doing things like fishing. My brother and I scattered the ashes, then we all tossed flowers into the ocean around the spot.
A special Thank You goes to Eric Meins for taking us out on his boat and providing the flowers we scattered with the ashes. He was a tremendous help to us and a blessing at this most difficult time…
Due to limited space, we only had 6 people on the boat: Eric the captain of the boat, myself, my brother Dave, my wife Brenda, my son Daniel, and our long time friend Carmen, whose mom was friends with my mom and whose brother played baseball with me for years.
It was a terrific time and I cannot express how wonderful it was. We even had a pod of porpoises swim in front of the boat on the way back in from the scattering! It was awesome!

Service Time for my dad is 10:30 am, August 1st

The info is below on where it will be held, and the obituary should be in the Union/Trib. starting Wednesday or Thursday. Due to very limited space on the boat, the scattering at sea to be held on Friday will be a private ceremony.
Once again, thank you to all of you who have email, called, posted comments, or sent cards. I really appreciate everything and it is great to know my dad was appreciated, and that our family is supported so much!
Neptune Society Chapel14065 Hwy 8 Business
El Cajon, CA 92021
(619-561-6400)

My dad passed away on July 18th...

Some background:He was diagnosed with esophageal cancer (Squamous cell carcinoma) late in June and had a series of complications from that point forward. He struggled with Hypercalcemia (an increase of the calcium in his blood), which led to dehydration, impacting his concentration and cognitive capabilities. The tumor itself apparently contributed to furthering the Hypercalcemia by generating more calcium on its own. Between July 3rd and the 16th he went from being admitted into Sharp Memorial in San Diego a couple of times to being in a nursing facility and then being readmitted to Sharps on the 16th. His health quickly declined over the last couple of days with a notification late on the 16th of my dad having kidney problems. Early on the 17th we were told his kidneys were shutting down. Dave (my brother) called me at work and I left for San Diego. Yesterday morning my brother and I met with the Dr. and the condition was stated pretty clearly- at 80 years old his body was shutting down and it was time to prepare for the inevitable. We stayed with him throughout the day and at 9:48 pm my dad’s heart stopped. At 10:08 pm the Dr. officially announced the time of death.

Some acknowledgements:My brother David has done so much for my dad over the years, but in the last month he has gone from work to the hospital, then back to work and spent so much of his time and energy helping my dad, checking on him and taking care of him. I really appreciate all that he has done for our dad. The nursing staff and Dr.’s at Sharp Memorial were fantastic. They took a vested interest in our dad, were very kind to us and were compassionate to the end. They really were wonderful and could not have taken better care of him.

Mom with "us" (Different pics with different people)

My mom with the family over the years...

Mom with my uncle Bill

Pics of my Mom- the younger days...

Here is my Mom when she was younger...

Happy Mother's Day Mom...

Mother's day has been very bitter-sweet for me ever since 1989. It was on May 11th, 1989 (3 days prior to Mother's Day that year if memory serves me correctly) that my mom passed away. Of course, when she passed away it was after spending nearly 8 years in a nursing home due to an aneurysm she suffered on August 18th, 1981 followed by a stroke on August 20th, 1981 which left her in an incapacitated state. Following her death her ashes were scattered and I never got a place to visit in order to remember her. So in this weekend I wanted to honor her and celebrate her life, figuring if there is no memorial marker for her physically, she can be honored in cyberspace.

It is probably no surprise that my mom meant a great deal to me. She took care of my brother and I when my dad was gone (he spent time on a deep-sea drilling ship and then commuted between our native San Diego and Orange County for years.) She went to all my baseball games (and pretended to understand the game!), gave me all the hugs that I needed, held my hand or was with me all 7 times (Yes! seven times) I got stitches as a kid, scolded me when I had done wrong, taught me how to Christmas shop, taught me to respect others, taught me to hold the door open for a woman, and demonstrated care for others by various volunteer efforts. Was my mom perfect...? Pretty close to it! To be honest, outside of her smoking habit that I tried to talk her out of repeatedly from the time I was around 10 years old, there weren't many things she did that I thought was wrong. I'm sure there was, but a son's memory tends to be a little selective... :)

The greatest attribute that my mom possessed was the ability to respect other people and treat other people well. Yes, she gave me the proverbial speeches of "If you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all." or to "Treat others as I would have them treat me". But with her it was more than a speech. I felt like she lived that way. And she always made me personally feel like I was the most important person around.

My mom LOVED Agatha Christie books and loved to read in general. I used to go to the old library on Sandrock road on Serra Mesa and wait and wait and wait and wait until she was done picking out books to bring home (anyone remember that branch?! I know they have opened a new branch on Aero Rd.)

Another time my brother and I would have to wait for my mom was when we would go shopping down in Fashion or Mission Valley. In those days Woolworth's department store had a cafe and my mom would stop and get some lunch or even just a piece of pie for my brother and I. But one thing my mom would not give up was the laaaast drop of her coffee! My brother and I would be so fidgety and ready to go but my mom would NOT leave until she had drained the very last of her coffee cup!

My mom was also a great cook. I remember her cooking all types of dishes. She would cook German dishes periodically due to our German heritage. Or a Roast. Fried Chicken and mashed potatoes. Cow's tongue (yes...you heard right. And it was good!). But my favorite food that my mom made? Her Corn Fritters with maples syrup! Mmmmmm When it was my birthday and she would ask what I wanted to eat? Corn Fritters! My mom also taught me to bake cookies and cakes (we had a lot of fun together). The only cook I ever remember being better than my mom? That would be her mom, my Grandma! (More on her later).

My biggest disappointment that my mom is not still alive is that she never got to meet Brenda, my wife of 21 years who my mom would adore! And she never got to meet my son and become the tremendous grandmother I know she would have been! Fortunately for my son, my mother-in-law is a wonderful grandmother to him. In fact, she is a tremendous mom to me too and I realize how lucky I am in that regard...

Anyway, I am going to post more on my mom this weekend. And more on my Grandmother. But right now, I am going to post some pictures of her...More later!